Wedding Speech Etiquette - The Toasts/Speeches

Who says what?

There are traditions concerning the content of the principal speeches,as follows:

The Father of the Bride

Welcomes all the guests to the wedding, on behalf of your wife and yourself.

Thank them for coming to help you celebrate the wedding of your daughter.

Tell them about your daughter - skills, abilities, achievements, character,reminiscences. It is common for there to be gentle teasing.

Tell them about your new son in law - skills, abilities, achievements,character, reminiscences. Perhaps more gentle teasing?

Toast the Bride and Groom. "So, ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, let us raise our glasses and join together in wishing them every happiness. I give you the toast of the Bride and Groom, ... And ... May God bless them."

The Bridegroom

Thank the Bride's father for proposing the toast.

Thank him for the wedding feast (if appropriate). Thank him for his kindness and friendship.
Thank him for his daughter.

Thank the guests for their good wishes, and for coming.

Thank everyone for their gifts.
Thank your 'new' wife for marrying you!

Thank the Bridesmaids who have helped your wife through the day. Comment on their charm & beauty. - not too much, though, as you may make your new wife jealous!
As well as the traditional thank-yous the Groom may wish to add a few words about how he met his wife, activities they share, etc. Gentle teasing is allowable.

Toast the Bridesmaids: "Ladies and gentlemen, will you join me in drinking the toast of 'The Bridesmaids' - thank you."

The Best Man

The Best Man speaks on behalf of the Bridesmaids (and other helpers -ushers, etc.), and

Thanks the Groom for his toast. He also:
Toasts the Parents: "I should like to add to the thanks to the parents which (Bridegroom) has already expressed on this wonderful occasion. I ask you to join me in drinking the toast of 'The parents'".

In addition to these two 'official' components, the Best Man's speech usually includes various anecdotes about the Bride and Groom. Again it is common for there to be gentle teasing.

Telegrams, cards and emails may be read out from people who were not able to attend.

The Bride

There are no 'traditional' components to a Bride's speech. I refer backto my comments on how the economic and social realities have changed overthe years.

Final Comments

As you can see, many of the traditional components of the wedding celebrationassume that:

It is a religious ceremony.

The Bride's father is paying for the reception.
The Bride will be financially dependent on the Groom.

Nowadays these assumptions are often invalid and you need to adapt tothe individual circumstances. Therefore many of the above notes on traditionalforms may need to be altered or ignored.

However, the structure of the traditions seems a good starting point forwedding celebrations:

Welcome guests

Celebration meal
Speeches of congratulations and thanks

Traditions give people guidance on what is expected of them. If you wantto be different, let the guests know so they do not feel uncertain anduncomfortable.

Remember: It's a PARTY!

See our other articles on aspects of Wedding Speech Etiquette

Your Wedding Speech 1 - Planning
Wedding Speech Etiquette 1 - Why it matters
Your Wedding Speech 4 - Performance
Your Wedding Speech 2 - Preparation
Wedding Speech Etiquette 2 - The Context
Your Wedding Speech 3 - Practicing
Wedding Speech Etiquette 3 - The Toastmaster